I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
