The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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