he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
