i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My pussy is not your playground.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize