Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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