its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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