I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
