I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
