i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
