This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize