and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize