hell yes lets make some ravioli
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
