She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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