i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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