drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
