Do you still have your period?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize