if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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