He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
