so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
