I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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