Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
