It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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