Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
