Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
