He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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