Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
