it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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