oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
