If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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