I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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