It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize