Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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