found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize