my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
