I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
