well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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