Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
