I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize