i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
