You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
