I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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