please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
