Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
