I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
