Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
