butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
