I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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