You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
