I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
