I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
