even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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