my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
