Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
