I think I am morally bankrupt
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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