Dual....:-)
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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