You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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