ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
