the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
