An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
