I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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