YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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