kristin has been a bad kristin
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize