highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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