so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize