i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
