a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
