Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
