I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
