He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
