We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize