How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
