I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
